Dear Robinson Kleshwitz,
Today is an important day. It is your special day. It's your birthday! If you want, you can sit on my face. My mustache is not as impressive as most other mustaches, in fact, it resembles the stache a young Spanish boy may have, but it can stimulate. It will stimulate. I love you.
IRkorpus, klesh and TheWeinerKingOfDetroit are drunk enough to care